The secret life of Miss Saigon.

2009-10-23T12:14:00.001-04:00

Hi Miss Saigon, You KickAss Chick You,

Chris n' Andy here from www.chicksinkicks.com/about/

We are reaching out to you guys/girls as we recently looked over your site and want to know if you are interested in doing some cross-promotion with us...

This November we will be releasing our first T-Shirt designs and would like some help promoting and selling them.

Of course we don't expect you to do this for free so we offer a higher than normal affiliate commission for those who help us out.

First we would like to do a simple banner and link exchange with those who reply back promptly as we have limited spots available.

Secondly we have pre-written a "sponsored post" (see Attached .txt file) and would really appreciate it if you could publish this or write up a similar one to help us promote our survey.

If you do this we will make a 300 word write-up about your site in our review category under the lifestyle section that your site falls under.

Working together will mutually benefit us by improving our search rankings and increasing our traffic over time.

If you're interested please reply to this message with your banner attached, desired anchor text for the link back to your site and of course a link showing us where you published our back link.

(Please use the following or similar anchor text "Chicks In Kicks - Kick-Ass Women Reppin' Active LifeStyles")

If you would like us to do the 300 word write-up then please publish(just cut/paste) our attached post or make one similar and reply with the link to that post.

Thanks for your time,

Chris n' Andy

Settlin' down...

2009-09-18T09:22:00.009-04:00

YEeeah YOOoooo, just received our very own copy of SneakerFreaker Mag,# 16 Issue.... AWESOME!!!Features a great article, "Girls got Kicks" About Lori Lobenstine, from www.femalesneakerfiend.com... An awesome site for chicks by chicks, Which also was one of the first sneaker fiend site to show LOVE to S.C... So for that, forever we're are humbled and gratful!!! Also another great article, Paul Litchfield,"the Architect"... A pioneer in his own right... Teeheehee He speaks on when his department at Reebok, was a three people team... Three!!!! yeah the magic number!... We're always on a three pepole rotation here at S.C! Back to th eMag, Luve it, although made me wonder when we, S.C will get our own feature in the editorial?... ;o). AS some of you may know we've been featured on their site... If you didn't go check it out....http://www.sneakerfreaker.com/articles/Miss-Saigon-Customs-Interview/...

Anyhoo, still settling down from my trip to Paris.... At least trying. here is something to be shared,.... For the first time in my life, and many other Parisians' lifetime, I saw Notre Dame, CLEAN... Whooooaaa.... & funny enough, it looked weird to me... As though they had just peeled her of her coat of 100 of years history.... Now ... Notre Dame just looks like St Paul Cathedral, on 5th Avenue... Weird...

Voila... Enough of Paris... Err... I had the honor to do a pair for Mr. Jamie Fox,... Oh Yeeeah....

Felicia Morris aka the Poetess from the FOXX HOLE (Jamie foxx's sirius satelite radio show) hooked us up with tix to the Jamie Foxx show at the Tower theater in Philadelphia.

S.C girls application.To be cpy & paste, sent back to saigoncustoms@gmail.com

2009-09-16T18:06:00.003-04:00

Ladies please be honest, be as detailed as possible, take it light!

Do you have a boyfriend, and if so would he mind you handling our Stallions?

Can you play any of the following games?:

a) Scrabble.
b)Boggle.
c)Taboo.
d)Poker.
e)Bridge.
f)Spades.

Your definition of "Stallion" is:

a) A dummy.
b) A strong beautiful male, there to pamper you ;o)?
c) A horse.

Can you handle being well treated and served by the Stallions, without getting big headed?

Your idea of hotness in a guy is:

a) His sense of humor.
b)His charisma.
c)His wallet.
d)His phallus.
e)All of the above.
F)None of the above

When surrounded by strong, beautiful, fierce, sisters you:

a)Stay by yourself and wish you were home so you could suck on your thumb?
b)Start acting crazy, trying to grab the most attention?
C)Look around, start counting others' physical flaws, forgetting your own?
d)Silently congratulate yourself for being part of such fly ass crew of hot chicks?

Why would be a good addition to the S.C crew?

a) You're superficial& vain?
b)You would smack someone silly for being superficial & vain?
c) you ROCK , you know it, & we need you to REP S.C the right way.
d) dunno.

What special skills would you be bringing to this crew? And what ambitions do you have with these skills?

Name three qualities about yourself that could make you indispensable to the S.C crew.

1)
2)
3)

Please sign, and return to saigoncustoms@gmail.com

BACK FROM PARIS!!!!!

2009-09-10T10:12:00.003-04:00

YEAHHHHHH! Saigon Customs is back in effect.... I, Miss Saigon, have just return from my hometown of Paris!!!!! ... Yet I am deeply saddened to announce to you guys the impromptu departure of my most beloved first apprentice, Miss Erika.
Erika left us to go back to Tassie, to be closer to family members, elders she wanted to enjoy some moments with before it may be too late... And for that we support her!!!!! Also we want ot give her big shout out for contributing to this blog and makin' it awesomely entertaining... FIRST APPRENTICE, you will be missed.

Now... How was Paris?... There are no words awesome enough to describe how it felt to come home after so long.

However I can tell you all about the Stallions hunting experience in the land of Baguettes and croissant... What an adventure!...

But first things first... We have been auditioning Stallions left and right, and so far the stable is growing fast and steady... So... Now it's time to get our our Saigon Girls Crew up to part...
So we will have the same process as the guys to apply to become a Saigon Girl... You Gals should copy and paste the application you will find below, and e-mail it to us. Upon acceptance, you will be required to sit down and have a fun interview for us to post on the blog, as well as some picts.

To apply , one must: be an excellent rider, of course, Stallions need to be handled by experienced riders!... You must possess a skill at which you excel, must be down to earth and deal with life in light hearted way... You must be able to put aside your ego and attitudes which may not be conducive to the crew... You must be energetic, fun, confident and self assured. Stallions can be a handful at times, and we are seeking girls that will stay gracious no matter what the pressure! ;o)

Please see the application following this post, have fun with it... And hope to see you in our inbox soon!

Packing Light

2009-07-22T12:08:00.003-04:00

We leave for Paris today. I'm packing light but there's some essentials I just can't forget.

"Le Fouet"

SC goes to NY

2009-07-21T17:53:00.007-04:00

You know, it's still a huge deal for me to be all like "Oh yeah, I'm going to New York for a photoshoot in the morning" - seriously! I hope I never get all jaded and spoiled by my amazing life here and stop appreciating the fact that I am 1.5 hours away from the Big Apple in the Saigon Limo and that we know the most amazing fucking people there. After pulling our crazy all-nighter we were out of this joint at 8.30 am. We took our neighbour Michelle with us, stylist/Saigon Girl Phelena Jean and her OGG Dad Nappa (Original Gangster, Gentleman/Grandfather, he thinks he's not a Stallion but little does he KNOW PAPA!!!), as well as Miss Saigon and myself of course.

When we got to New York we met up with our model Silq and Saigon Photographer Marlon...

Awww.... After making magic happen with a lil shoot on the riverfront we headed to the Shaolin Temple on Broadway where we met up with astonishing Shifu Shi Yan Ming, a Shaolin Master.

This guy is amazing, when we walked in there's magazine covers with this guy on the front of them everywhere (including a shared one with the RZA) and more flicks of him with celebrities like Shirley Manson, John Leguizamo and Bjork, many of whom come to Shi Yan for the best Shaolin training in America! Shi Yan's been in ads for Nike, IBM, HP, Hallmark and is the face of Chase Manhattan Bank. WOW! That's why we were so stoked to present him with his own pair of dragon-themed Saigon Customs which he additionally modelled the hell out of.

I feel bad even saying "hell" when talking about Shi Yan since the temple came with a whole lot of rules that we had to abide by which includes no profanities (I think we failed a couple of times on that one - sorry Shifu) Although I felt eerily comfortable with them all, maybe because it kind of sounded like I could have written them.

Anyways, after feeling all stoked and pleased with ourselves because of the great shoot at the temple, we bailed to get our so ho on in SoHo. Then we met a man with a cat on his head.

And this douchebag took a picture of my cleavage when I was leaning over.

DOES HE NOT LOOK LIKE SOMEBODY YOU'D SEE HANGING OUT NEAR CHILDREN'S PLAY AREAS

So I haven't posted the money shots yet as we're still finishing them but I will post them when they're done. I just want to say that we are SO appreciative to have such an incredible crew come together and work so well for us and it showed in the flow of the day (even with Miss Saigon calling Cedra "the Gestapo" for keeping us all on point and organised hahahahaa.....) Here's a whole lot of candids so y'all can feel what an amazing day it was...

Taking M.A.F.I.A.'s Pandas for a walk...

Phelena Jean getting her stylist on...

^^ da OGG Nappa!!!

^^ This is modelling!!!

Marlon Lawe x Saigon Customs

2009-07-20T15:41:00.003-04:00

= <3

(you can't see me but I've got hearts flying out of my eyes right now)

ANOTHER ALL NIGHTER

2009-07-18T07:01:00.005-04:00

THAT'S THE SACRIFICE YOU HAVE TO MAKE WHEN GETTING READY FOR A SHIT HOT SHOOT WITH A SHAOLIN MONK CALLED SHIFU!!! I'M SITTING HERE AT 7 AM ON THE DOT WAITING FOR CEDRA TO ROCK UP AND DRAG OUR SLEEP DEPRIVED ARSES TO ENWHYCEE. THERE, WE'LL REUNITE WITH OUR FAVOURITE PHOTOGRAPHER MARLON LAWE AND PRESENT HIM WITH HIS VERY OWN "JAMAICAN ME CRAZY" PAIR OF SAIGON CUSTOMS ^^. I CAN'T WAIT FOR TODAY TO BE OVERRRRRR.... SO TIRED!!!!! BUT I'M SURE IT'S GOING TO BE AR-MAZING, PROVIDED I CAN STOP SHOUTING...

Bobby Hill + Saigon Customs at UBIQ

2009-07-17T12:15:00.008-04:00

Wow, how good is it not only to be in an exhibition but to be sharing the place with somebody dope who's just as happy to reflect some shine onto you and your few little shelves of shoes in his amazing exhibition?

Meet succesful New York graffiti/pop artist Bobby Hill who opened his solo show yesterday at Ubiq here in Philly. Bobby is a Brooklyn-based street artist who creates a "fantastic blend of Warholian pop imagery" that's been heavily influenced by his graffiti background in the 1980's (COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE BETTER PEDIGREE? COULD YOU?!?!). He's also done a lot of commercial work for big clients. The show was great. We loved it! We were given a couple of shelves in the same room as his Bobbyness where we did a similar display to the one at the ISB (I never want to see another popup again, okay, I quit.) Here are some flicks of some lovers and just a hater or two (but we heart you).

WANT

2009-07-16T07:29:00.012-04:00

... to ride Kaws

...to marry the first guy I meet wearing these...

... To know if these will go the same way as the Dunkle?

... to go see the Takashi Murakami and the LiveStrong STAGES exhibitions in Paris... And I will, bitches!

... to know how many other people would feel weird rocking these odd-coloured kicks, even if they are kind of ugly-awesome?

... to know if that's really baby pink in the fill?

Most flicks via Sneaker Freaker

Night Owl/The Vine

2009-07-14T01:09:00.009-04:00

One of the most important things I've learned during my time here at Saigon Customs is that trying to work during the day is a waste of fucking time. Ask me two months ago and I would've told you I was the world's biggest early bird, up at the crack of sparrow fart without hesitation and ready to start the day. Now I see the error of my ways: I love my life here - sleep til 11, get up, enjoy the day, eat dinner and then buckle down at about 9 o'clock (with a beer, no less!) to power through until 3-4 and get a shitload done with NO INTERRUPTIONS.

This also means that we are on top of it the second anything comes through from Australia, with a gnarly 14 hour time difference putting all of our arses on our work chairs at the same time. Thanks again to DJ M.A.F.I.A. who has been responsible for showing us a truckload of love over the past couple of weeks (I'm watching your kicks being made right now!). Once again she karm0-loads by giving us a very tidy feature on The Vine, one of the soundest blogs in Australia right now (how could it not be, with the Muff Daddy as official streetwear editor?) We like it, we like it!!

CHECK IT OUT HERE!!!! PLENTY OF GOODNESS!!!

PS @ Mafia I heart you too! and it's okay about the "no shine" it's all Miss Saigon's, I am just the lowly First Apprentice and I burn too easy anyhow haha

Be the bigger person

2009-07-13T09:18:00.013-04:00

So, what happens when you think you are a not jealous person but then you find out that peroxitard little moles are facestalking your ex and you simply can't stand the thought of them getting their manky paws on him? Today I've designed a whole lot of exercises to help all of you budding young Saigon Girls to conquer the GREEN EYED MONSTER, the least attractive attribute when your whole swag is supposed to be about self-confidence and grace.1. No cliches.
Such as comfort eating or watching chick flicks in your pyjamas with your girls on standby with the Kleenex. No! Fuck that! Are you a Saigon Girl or do you need it beat back into you? Last girl that tried tricks like that around here I personally put into a shipping container and sent to Egypt. Once she's found her way back from the desert, let's see how valuable she thinks feeling sorry for herself is.

2. Attach a breathalyser to your keyboard

Not getting onto Facebook drunk at 3am sounds so simple and yet it remains elusively difficult. This is possibly the most important step in not saying something that you will regret. That's why, as a Saigon Girl, you must attach your keyboard to a breathalyzer. My model of choice, why the Alcohawk Pro of course. Anything less would probably implode from the fumes of any of us Saigon Girls returning from the Sundae Party.

3. Hurts so good
I'm not talking self harm here like, locked in my bedroom listening to My Chemical Romance emo shit. No, I mean a good old fashioned, character-building beating, delivered by your mentor of choice. Personally I never feel so upstanding and righteous as when the welts on my back are freshly raised, what about you?

4. Take up martial arts
Here at Saigon Customs we are up doing heron poses at 4am followed by ninja drills running to and from the top of the hill to get our daily supply of water. The Stallions help us out with surprise ambushes, bless them, to make sure that our combat skills are always on point. The feeling of knowing that you could push any random moll's face back into her brain is actually reassuring. So much so, I'm more likely to refrain from any acts of jealous violence altogether. We are all about love, love, love here at SC. I swear it. Love. (But you can always put her face onto a punching bag, remember).

5. Take your other Stallions for a run
Let your Stallions take you to a movie, listen to you talk, give you massages, make you laugh, whatever. This is what Stallions do best. Not only does this distract you from whatever "He" might be doing, but it allows you to keep your entire Stable fit and healthy. Happy Stallions are healthy Stallions!

6. Get a life

7. Go to Paris (see above)

^^^8 days left til Paris, bitches.

MEET OUR NEW STALLION!

2009-07-11T04:05:00.016-04:00

Hello and a big WELCOME to our newest addition to the Saigon Stable, CHRIS P. Chris is practically the face of the Sundae party and likes dancing, rollerskating, DJiing and Miss Saigon (naturally). Here we interview him and find out that he does kiss on the first date, ooh la la...

Hey Chris, how are you?
I'm fantastic. Peachy.

So, you are a computer programmer Stallion, what's the sexiest thing you can do with your machine?

Hmmm....Well, with my machine over the internet I can vibrate your machine?

Oh I can rock my machine on my own, but thanks anyway. What's your idea of a great date with a Saigon Girl?

A great date with a Saigon Girl would involve a nice dinner, a fantastic night of dancing followed by some very sweet kisses

So you kiss on the first date?

Is that alright? Do Saigon Girls kiss on the first date?

Yeah. Actually they do that a lot. Sometimes when they're not even on a date. So, do you have any nicknames?
Way back when, some of my friends used to call me Clarence 'cos i had a shirt with the name "Clarence" embroidered on it. And some people call me "Star" because when I DJ I'm Star Child.

So you're also a DJ. Now we have music/entertainment. That's good to know.
Yeah. So when I skate and dance and stuff some people call me Star.

So you skate and DJ at the same time?
I have been asked to do that.

Maybe we'll give you your first dancing DJ gig.

Great. I'm also huge in Japan.

We can see that. Can you handle more than one handler?
Oh definitely. I can handle a few handlers. I've got plenty of stamina, but years of training.

Oh no, it has nothing to do with stamina. Sometimes it's just ego crushing animal handling. Sometimes we're just handling you 'cos you're an animal, a Stallion.

I need to be tamed.

Okay, you have to be tamed if you are to be part of the Saigon Customs Stable. As a Stallion, we have to make sure that you will feel comfortable and at home in the Stable, and that you will be compatible with the other Stallions. Tell me your pet hate, and what you do that you know annoys/turns others off most.

Something that I hate: one of my pet peeves is people who are very impatient. I used to be impatient but I've learned to become patient. Patience is a learned attribute. In terms of the other stallions what would piss them off is that I'm really well hung and I like to walk around in my underwear a lot. That would not go over well with the other stallions for sure.

Hmmm, refreshing answer. No seahorse stable for you then. So if we meet a tattoo artist Stallion, will you be willing to get I Heart SC forever tattooed on part of your body? We are in a branding phase you know.

Yes. I've got my right butt cheek reserved.

We better find it that way! Will you need a Saigon Girl to hold your hand while you're getting branded?

That would be nice.

Last but not least, where did you get that pretty smile?

Well, this pretty smile comes from YEARS of practise. I smile at lovely ladies such as yourself every chance I get! Ha ha ha...

We'd like to thank Chris for fulfilling his Stallion duties and bringing us icecream. Also did I mention he's the genius who got the comments function on our blog working again...? Thanks again Chris!

Thanks

2009-07-10T00:06:00.003-04:00

to the IT Stallion (proper feature to be posted tomorrow) who made it SO WE NOW CAN LEAVE COMMENTS!!! YEAH!

We're still assessing Stallions...

2009-07-08T12:01:00.006-04:00

Look out for our two new Stallions Chris and Thang Nguyen in the coming weeks , but in the meantime you can apply for membership to the Saigon Stable with this form, after reading the Stallion rules here

Stallion Application Form: (please copy, paste and return to us at saigoncustoms@gmail.com)

1. Over the course of a normal first date, how often do you mention your mother? Did she beat you or did she do everything for you? Do you find photos of her in her younger days strangely arousing?

2. How often do you watch porn per week? To answer, please multiply the number of times you watched porn last week by 4 then divide by 28 and round off to the closest whole number to give us a daily average.

3. Were you able to complete the above equation? Please circle one.

YES---------------------NO-------------WHAT'S AN "EQUATION"?

4.Dunlop Volleys + little shorts
=
a) Oh ya, I love that silhouette sister! *effeminate high five*
b) Um, it makes girls wet...................right?
c) I'd wear them if my arse wasn't so fat
4) Miss Saigon, I've been sitting by the phone for three days waiting for you to call.

5.True or False? Glasses with thick black frames make you look like a totally rad and individual person. Please circle one:

F ------------------ F

6. Megan Fox is

a) smart and beautiful
b) beautiful
c) dumb and beautiful
d) dumb
e) the equivalent of having herpes on my eyeballs, compared to a Saigon Girl

7. In 200 words or less, what can you uniquely bring to the Saigon Stable?

8. Can you respond calmly and gracefully when you are beaten at Scrabble?

Please include a head shot with your application, as well as photos of any private jets, country houses, sneaker collections or other amazing assets you might have. Mixtapes also welcome.

Edla
SC Croo!

CEDRA WILL CALL YOU

We <3 the sneaker bible

2009-07-08T01:48:00.005-04:00

And the rad job DJ M.A.F.I.A. did on our SNKR FRKR interview (vote for her here)

After that, read all about how fucking amazoid we are on the SNKR FRKR website here

It pays to be First Apprentice

2009-07-06T17:57:00.005-04:00

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!! Look what Miss Saigon gave me for my birthday -

THE SKULLLLLLLLLLLS!!!!!!!

READ IT AND WEEP BITCHES!!!! HAHAHAHAHA. These were by FAR the biggest attention grabbers at the ISB and now they are going to be on my feets!!!! I love, love, love these kicks!!! ARRRRRR!!!

And look what else the thoughtful and honorable Miss Saigon gave me - a First Apprentice journal with a sticker of a homocidal smurf. Awwww. She knows me so well.

Stay humble

2009-07-05T16:38:00.010-04:00

You know, I truly do live the Saigon Way. All you Saigon wannabes need to check the shit of THIS First Apprentice if you want to see how it's done.

Regard as I post a link to an incredibly fug photo of myself and STILL tell y'all to go check it out.

Et voila. I make it look so easy but it takes weeks of practice and humiliation to get this humble. But Female Sneaker Fiends did say nice things about us and FSF is the exactly how I found Miss Saigon a whole year ago. So I humbly pay my respects... *bows*

Photoshoot

2009-06-29T08:34:00.032-04:00

This weekend was probably the craziest of my life, since the day after the ISB we had a Saigon Customs photo shoot. Even though we'd had no sleep for a week and all we really wanted to do was rest after the ISB, the photo shoot was simply a-ma-zing and so much fun. We had the dopest team of people grace us with their talent, personality and creativity and we are SO lucky to know all of you.

Big ups to our manager Cedra who showed she can pull this shit together like nobody's business (also I had no idea she had America's next top model living inside of her, foxy shot no?)

Cedra found our cameraman, Marlon Lawe, in New York. He's currently working on a movie that's sure to blow up called "Night at the Opera", make sure you check that shit out when it releases, although everybody's going to be talking about it so you'll probably go anyway. We were blown away by his patience and dedication, plus it was like 90+ degrees (32+ for you guys in Aus) and he was moving stuff around non stop and work, work, working and never complained. What a legend! It doesn't hurt to be that cute either.

Considering I am not a big girly girl and don't spend a lot of time fussing with hair and makeup, it was amazing as well as a bit inspiring to go all out and get my hair and makeup done like this. It was made easier considering I was taken such good care of by Jamez (anbreasbeautysalon.com) and Kondor (maneleekinky.com). They put us all in fly "Cosmopolitan-Asian" themed hairstyles and going red for the day was a lot of fun. I thought everybody looked incredible.

Aretha is a fairy godmother makeup artist as in, you feel like you could sit back and have her magic all your problems away with a wave of her mascara wand. Thanks for the exotic looks and the inspiration Aretha! x

Phelena is like our new honorary Saigon Girl because she's just straight up dope. She's also a wonderful stylist who never stopped pulling surprises out of her bag of tricks. She dressed ALL of us that day. PRRR-OPS!!!! We love u Phelena Jean! Here is the amazing Curtis, he is such a stallion albeit a backstage one. Trust me, you need a stallion like Curtis. All these cute candid shots you see here are taken by him...

And last... BUT MOST DEFINITELY NOT LEAST, thank you to our noble stallions that lent their hot bods to our sneakers and their solidarity and excellent company to Saigon Customs. Saigon Girls got your backs!

Miss Saigon in her element among the stallions...

Our most excellent stallion Chris "P"

Saga could teach me a thing or two about swagger, for sure...
We have hot interns, say hi to Christina...

And the result? You wanted it....

Look out for the feature on sneakerfreaker.com, next week bitches!!!

We went to Battle this last weekend...

2009-06-28T00:27:00.052-04:00

... and won! A huge "thankyou" to the judges that chose us Best Custom Sneaker for the second year running, including our gracious host Suraj and celebrity DJ, mister DJ Clark Kent.

That's them, picking the winning custom, the Billy Holidays...

Preparations for us were big this year since we made this huge, tricked-out display.

On the drive there we look all composed and shit but...

This was us the night before...

We also met some amazing people. Such as super cute married sneaker duo Tyler and Twiggy.

These are some sneaker fiends if ever I met any. She says when they met dude only had three pairs of shoes and he says they were all skate shoes too.

Oh my how things have changed. Twiggy has every pair of heat that I've ever wanted and Tyler also has a collection to die for. He's real cool about it too 'cos he's not greedy or precious: he told me he's going to be selling a lot of these after the show, starting on ebay at 99 cents "and they'll go for whatever they go for". Find that ebay account!

I also fell in love with the brand 8and9. Their shit is illll!!!! And the team were all super nice. Saigon Girls love you guys!

Also, did I mention how many fine dudes there were walking around that show?

Like Oscar from Mumz

Ace from Make It Clap

and DJ Fever from Philly

The line to get in was so long that they even started locking people out who already had entrance. Hence why I was left screaming like a dickhead on my own when they announced us best Custom Sneaker while Miss Saigon was stuck outside arguing with the bouncers. NICE WORK FELLAS. Luckily she got back in time to get on stage and accept her award from the most awesome Angie Martinez who was wearing Fafi adicolors. <3>

We were next-booth neighbours with the beautiful FlyKIckz from NYC. Females representin'!!!

Miss Saigon and Wale...

Arriving victorious back to Philly we were touched to be welcomed home with fireworks. Maybe it's just because it says "Hooters" in the photo but this one kind of looked like something else to us.

Oh yeah. And I finally got a word-for-word explanation.

Montage

2009-06-24T09:06:00.006-04:00

Since we are from Philadelphia, the town of Rocky and the original Italian Stallion, you know we can really appreciate the eighties montage. You know how in the eighties, any movie where the hero has some big thing coming up - usually some sort of dance or fight competition - at first it's like all is lost and crap and there's no way he's going to be ready in time.... then all of a sudden the montage Gods start a track from the sky and the hero goes into three minutes of really intense prep time, where he's training nonstop, getting better and better and pushing himself past the point of exhaustion. And after three minutes of power music the hero is ready. Well, that's us right now, in preparation for the ISB. We are working so hard I can hear the Eye of the Tiger in my head, only it's on repeat because this shit sure as hell takes a lot longer than three minutes. I'm going to battle for Best Display since as lowly First Apprentice I still have to work my way up to the sneaks. Last time I even picked one up to look at it I got demoted back to fetching well water and I HATE That job.

I've stupidly decided to draw the entire display. My right arm is soooo sore. Maybe a day of well duty would actually be time out compared to this stuff. I'm so dead right now.

Stallion Application Forms

2009-06-22T21:20:00.007-04:00

Since we're being inundated with requests to become a "Saigon Stallion" I'm going to have to push the importance of the SELECTION CRITERIA a little more seriously, starting with signing up to follow our blog. I will check that first, fuckers. Plus every application I forget to check gets me a thousand lashings. So, you know, give the new girl a chance.

IF YOU WANT TO BE A SAIGON STALLION, WHICH MAY OR MAY NOT INCLUDE A VERY IMPORTANT AND GLAMOROUS PHOTO SHOOT THIS WEEKEND THEN EMAIL ME FOR THE APPLICATION FORM (OR COPY AND PASTE IT FROM A FEW PAGES BACK) @ saigoncustoms@gmail.com

CEDRA WILL CALL YOU

I'm sure you'll be able to do this, horses are supposed to be very intelligent.

Damn Straight

2009-06-20T11:31:00.006-04:00

Our version

2009-06-20T03:10:00.007-04:00

We have this book called Fabulosity by Kimora Lee Simmons, a personal hero of Miss Saigon's. Aactually it's one of the textbooks we have to study at Saigon School. Anyways, in it, Kimora Lee says that when she was like, fifteen or eighteen she wrote herself a check for a million bucks, and you know what? she cashed that shit when she was 21. YOU. FUCKING. GO. GIRL. So, we put our chinky heads to it and came up with our OWN VERSION of a million dollar check to motivate us.

Introducing: Runaway Bboy: Mr Saigon June

2009-06-20T00:02:00.012-04:00

This month, June, the stallion to bet on is RUNAWAY BBOY, breeding name Ron "Zen One" Wood. He is modelling Miss Saigon's "Day of the Dead" AF1's, available at a stable near you.

Full name?

Ron "Zen One" Wood

Age? 39

Occupation?

Shit, what to say? Martial arts instructor, professional dancer, choreographer, fitness trainer

How do you know Miss Saigon?

I was a pasttime.

But we travel in the same circles.

Any anecdotes?

We got into a fight, trying to flip each other, Miss Saigon tried to flip me, smack me and hit me. I don't know why, she knows I'm a martial arts instructor. It's just a challenge to her. I guess she thought "fuck it, I'm going to thow caution to the wind" 'cos she thinks "he's not really going to hit me, he's a nice guy".

What do you think it was that gave you the winning edge in your Stallion Stable selection? What are the best attributes you bring?

I listen to women when i'm having sex with them. Many guys forget that, everyone is different so you've got to listen so that you can unlock the safe. Joking. Oh yeah, and positivity. I try to surround myself with positivity so that I exude positivity.

When you're dating Zen he's a great workout - Miss Saigon

Where can we find you grazing in Philly?

Definitely find me at the Sundae party. If not there, training. At the Karate studio or the CEC practicing fighting, either getting my ass beat or beating somebody's ass.

Favourite food?

Sushi

What's yoru strengths around the house?

I'm anal. I can be a neat freak.

This is in fact true: we did not even ask for this photo - E

You have cocktail specials?

Honestly no. And I went to bartending school. But I don't really drink that much anymore. But I can pour a mean saki.

You're not a fan of PDAs or so I heard.

Yes I am.... I don't mind head in the car.

Are you any good at Scrabble?

I'm better at Eyespy. I'm a good listener. Sometimes.

Any last words.

*what happened next cannot be published here.*

So you see, Stallions just know what to do, they don't have to be told. ^^

I was wrong

2009-06-19T21:16:00.002-04:00

Miss Saigon mixes better Margharitas than Randy
Miss Saigon mixes better Margharitas than Randy
Miss Saigon mixes better Margharitas than Randy
Miss Saigon mixes better Margharitas than Randy
Miss Saigon mixes better Margharitas than Randy
Miss Saigon mixes better Margharitas than Randy
Miss Saigon mixes better Margharitas than Randy
Miss Saigon mixes better Margharitas than Randy
Miss Saigon mixes better Margharitas than Randy
Miss Saigon mixes better Margharitas than Randy
Miss Saigon mixes better Margharitas than Randy
Miss Saigon mixes better Margharitas than Randy
Miss Saigon mixes better Margharitas than Randy
Miss Saigon mixes better Margharitas than Randy
Miss Saigon mixes better Margharitas than Randy
Miss Saigon mixes better Margharitas than Randy
Miss Saigon mixes better Margharitas than Randy
Miss Saigon mixes better Margharitas than Randy
Miss Saigon mixes better Margharitas than Randy
Miss Saigon mixes better Margharitas than Randy
Miss Saigon mixes better Margharitas than Randy
Miss Saigon mixes better Margharitas than Randy

Even though I'm first apprentice, I still have to write lines when I fuck up.

The Sneaker Dilla's Apprentice

2009-06-18T12:37:00.009-04:00

Guess what guys? I just made First Apprentice. To win it I had to beat all the other Saigon Girls and only one died, so I got points for clean combat.

This is the speech Miss Saigon made when I got my award:

Edla the very fierce yet shy apprentice. The very first, most dedicated of them this far, she will slay any soul who dares to disrespect the House of Customs she now represents.

She will sling her sword at weak customisers trying to imitate the techniques of Saigon Customs.

Make no mistakes, although sweet in the face, Edla will leave you traumatised by her illustration skills that rip words right our of your mouth like skilful nunchucks!

This is me accepting my award. I started to cry but then I got whipped and remembered I'm not supposed to.

So as First Apprentice, I get to be the enforcer which means I keep an eye on any of the little beginners failing to conform to the HOUSE RULES.

Each one of the HOUSE RULES is punishable by at least 5 minutes of housework, the only way we get any done around here.

1.No hogging the stallions.

All stallions are property of the Saigon Customs house and are to remain at all times in the allocated Saigon pastures.

2. No screaming or losing temper/composure.

Being a bitch gets you banned to the furthest corner of the room, the one on top of the kitty litter box for a period proportionate to your tantrum as decided by other Saigon crew present.

3. You may get out of this by sucking up. How much can you offer?

4. Failure to make offerings

There is no greater sin than shirking your obligations to make offerings to the Saigon Girls in the form of snacks, beer, seaweed, flowers. No offerings means no props, no publicity and we award you Saigon invisibility until you change your ways. Plus you get locked out of the Stallion Stable at the Sundae party. Don't say we didn't warn you, you knew girl!!!!!!!

5. No ego tripping

If I could write that in gold font I would because it is absolutely the golden rule.

If your nasty little ego starts to rear its ugly head you won't just get expelled from the house of Saigon Customs, you get thrown into the pit of wak dudes we've met along the way, otherwise known as the Taco Pit 'cos they're all just so corny. At first you'll be all like "this is okay" because you're all so full of yourself and they'll fluff your ego good, but after a while you'll miss the down to Earth company of the Saigon Girls and crew and you'll realise the only way to get shit done like we do is to put all your ego aside.

This is the First Apprentice, signing out.

You've always wanted to party with Miss Saigon

2009-06-18T10:59:00.002-04:00

Now you can.

An apple a day will get you laid.

2009-06-18T00:44:00.010-04:00

For a while now, I've had this theory that guys really, really dig girls that walk down the street eating apples. You could try it some time: step out your front door with a crispy green Granny Smith and bask in the admiring looks you get on the way to the bus stop.

You know how turned off guys are by girls that push everything around on their plate and eat nothing? At the same time a lot of them have told me that it's a major turn on to see a chick that likes her food –although my guess is that you are only allowed to "like your food" if you are a size 8 and under, which is when their expectations get kinda difficult to meet.

Difficult, that is, until you are tucking into something delicious, healthy, easy to eat: like an apple. See, guys like to see you eat, but when they see you enjoying something that is GOOD for you, there is a good chance you will get followed on your way to the bus stop. Just saying.

My friend was all like, "you can do it with any fruit" but I would have to say no. For one, you are not going to want the sort of attention you get walking down the street eating a banana. Mandarins I could imagine being very sexy but you have nowhere to discard the peel (unless you want to look like a litterbug), peaches are just too messy, apricots don't take long enough to eat unless you take a bag of them, the same goes for grapes, and that just ruins the effect.

No, apples it is.

The girl you see in this picture eating the apple, she's the one I originally told the theory to and she reckons just a few weeks later one of the cutest guys we know told her he "really, really likes girls eating apples" and that he always makes an effort to talk to them on campus.

So you see. The Saigon Girl has spoken.

Saigon Beauty School

2009-06-17T23:12:00.004-04:00

The other day at Saigon School we had beauty class, since there ain't no apprentice that made it to be Saigon ninja without looking super fine. Classes include how to stay skinny and still drink beer and how to get glowing healthy skin even though you sit locked up in the dark in the studio all day, scrubbing sneakers with a one-bristled toothbrush.

The answer is the Saigon Diet, which is all they serve at Saigon Customs. Mostly it consists of greens greens and more greens, then some greens, greens, lots of coffee, clams from the Berlin Mall, more greens, Corona with lime and a whole lot of Nori, or seaweed snacks. I don't know - it's sort of like eating your seaweed wrap instead of lying in it at a health spa all day (like we have time for that). There's also this thing called the Saigon Banquet Hall where we go after Sneaker Church where they have all you can eat. I tell you what: you better not get in the way when they bring the watermelon out, because Miss Saigon will FUCK. YOU. UP. Tonight I saw Miss Saigon dump an old lady in the shrimp salad because she tried to push in line. Manners, you see, are very important to the Saigon Girl.

Step back from the fucking watermelon.

M.I.S.S.

2009-06-17T22:44:00.006-04:00

Shoutouts to the legendary M.I.S.S. blog that featured us on their amazing website today! Me personally I've been a reader of Mama's International Secret Society for a minute now and I know what a big deal it is for them to say such nice things about you. 10,000 Saigon Points to you*!

*Not redeemable with any other offer.

My Local Dealer

2009-06-17T22:11:00.003-04:00

Once upon a time, I used to come from a land far, far away called T*smania. In some parts of Australia you wouldn't say this word in polite company, but the rest of the people I meet think it's somewhere in Africa and wonder why I'm so goddamn white. Anyways, part of the reason I am alive to write this today is because of a special guy called Broden who opened Tasmania's only real sneaker store (I mean Footlocker doesn't count, does it? Or does it...) Grip Footwear opened in 2007 and thanks to Broden's connects (including making Quickstrike in under two years of opening) I was duly stocked in special footwear, unlike some dealers who leave you curled up and shivering in a dry little ball, chewing on old shoelaces to try and get your fix.

He has a rad site where you can buy stuff, which is even more awesome when it's in nice, worthless Australian dollars and he knows how to put on a sale. Check it all out here, and wonder why his photos look so familiar (answer: because sneakernews stops by regularly to help themselves and repost them on their blog!!!!!!!)

Y'all ready to do some battle?

2009-06-16T08:06:00.003-04:00

Jazz is All That

2009-06-15T06:38:00.008-04:00

Beavering away doing intern-y things the other day, I stumbled across this blog by sexy-cool sneakerhead, Jazz Bonifacio. Not only does he live in one of our favourite sneaker cities in the world, he's an established sneaker connoisseur and all-around nice guy. So if you like sneakers and you want a blog with a bit less girl fuckery in it than this one, then you should hit it up. We do.

I LOVE you Philly

2009-06-15T01:24:00.003-04:00

Before
and after
Seriously. I love you Illadell!

Stallion Customs

2009-06-12T11:43:00.017-04:00

So, previously I have written about what it takes to be a Saigon Girl, how much work you have to put in before you're allowed to have a chair at your desk or eat at the table with the other humans. So far I am super proud of what I've achieved: up to week 3 and I've still only had one beating.

But today I am going to be writing about other ways you can get involved with us at Saigon Customs if you're a guy. I mean, being an all female crew we can't let you do anything important like make sneaks look beautiful or you know, try and do business or whatever. But if you like intelligent company and you have hot abs or nice eyes or a buzzcut or a massage bed or something along those lines, we have a little hobby farm called the Saigon Stable and we are ALWAYS looking for new specimens. Having animals around is meant to be very therapeutic for people who lead busy, stressful lifestyles like ours, and the Saigon Stallions, as they are known, are a very relaxing distraction from the daily grind of being a kickass bitch 24/7.

Stallion Criteria

Since variety is the spice of life, the best thing about the Saigon Stable is the wide range of specimens that we keep in it. That means y'all stand a fighting chance, provided you follow these simple criteria.

1. Buy us flowers
Girls are like bees as in, they're attracted to pretty, colourful things that smell good. So when you provide us with flowers, what happens? That's right, genius: we make honey.

2. Do the housework

Saigon Stallions know that when they get home to us, we might still be sitting exactly where they left us (in the studio),and that dishes are probably piled high to the roof. Alongside that, the laundry pile probably looks like a small geographical landmark and the kitties need feeding and the fridge is empty and there's no smell of cooking whatsoever.

Well, my Stallion friend, that means shit is getting DONE and that we are making $. So, if you help out by folding the laundry and ordering us pizza, we'll buy you something nice. Like an action man. Or baseball cards. I dunno. Whatever it is that you guys are into these days.

3.Don't stalk.

The true test of a stallion is how he acts around the other stallions. First of all, you can't get jealous when we talk to other stallions because it's all business. Secondly, your scary, wordy texts that go on and on about shit that only you can understand are a major turnoff and many a stallion has lost his stall this way.

4.Shake shake, shake shake shake it.

Seriously. This one is very, very important. Stallions have been promoted for their margarita making skills, as well as their ability to keep the fridge stocked in Corona. We encourage all stallions to include bar experience on their applications.

5. Your name is Travis

Travis Fimmel

I don't know what it is about the name Travis, but it has been my favourite guy's name for like, ever, and somehow every Travis I meet is super duper fine. I think you can change your name at the registry for like under a hundred bucks. This is the equivalent of paying that little bit extra to get your passport application expedited, since we move all applications from people named Travis straight to the top of the application pile.

Stallion Application Form: (please copy, paste and return to us at saigoncustoms@gmail.com)

1. Over the course of a normal first date, how often do you mention your mother? Did she beat you or did she do everything for you? Do you find photos of her in her younger days strangely arousing?

2. How often do you watch porn per week? To answer, please multiply the number of times you watched porn last week by 4 then divide by 28 and round off to the closest whole number to give us a daily average.

3. Were you able to complete the above equation? Please circle one.

YES---------------------NO-------------WHAT'S AN "EQUATION"?

4.Dunlop Volleys + little shorts
=
a) Oh ya, I love that silhouette sister! *effeminate high five*
b) Um, it makes girls wet...................right?
c) I'd wear them if my arse wasn't so fat
4) Miss Saigon, I've been sitting by the phone for three days waiting for you to call.

5.True or False? Glasses with thick black frames make you look like a totally rad and individual person. Please circle one:

F ------------------ F

6. Megan Fox is

a) smart and beautiful
b) beautiful
c) dumb and beautiful
d) dumb
e) the equivalent of having herpes on my eyeballs, compared to a Saigon Girl

7. In 200 words or less, what can you uniquely bring to the Saigon Stable?

8. Can you respond calmly and gracefully when you are beaten at Scrabble?

Please include a head shot with your application, as well as photos of any private jets, country houses, sneaker collections or other amazing assets you might have. Mixtapes also welcome.

Edla
SC Croo!

FML

2009-06-10T18:10:00.011-04:00

So I have been feeling a little under the weather lately, mostly because I broke up with my boyfriend, one of the most beautiful people I have ever had the good fortune to talk to, let alone hold hands with. So I guess when you feel like shit what better to do than air all of that filthy laundry out in public. There it is. You know once, when I was dumped by this dude I was totally hot for, he told a mutual friend that he'd always been the dumpee and that being the dump-er was way harder. Can I just say, now that I've seen both sides: IT. IS. SO. TRUE. Even though being dumped is literally like being stabbed in the guts, being the dumper is more like having cancer, as in it makes you sick for a long time and eats you from the inside. Also, you never know if it's going to go away.

To distract myself, I'm going to post some pictures of what we've been doing over the last couple of days.

We went to the Sundae party on Sunday and it was doooooope! Thankyou, thankyou Sundae party. Best. Check these little kids getting their groove on while everyone around them was singing.

For a photoshoot we're doing in the next week or so, I have been cleaning shoes (and my lungs), I'm pretty sure I inhaled at least half of this.

Mr Saigon, a.k.a. Randy has been shaking up a margharita storm after we've been working our arses off during the day (thanks mate!)
I did a piece on 5th and Cecil B Moore, check it out if you're in town.Solomon got his hair locked yesterday. He was so patient, he was at the hairdresser's for the whole day. It looks soooo good matey.Meanwhile, I found out they have roadstops named after the sound of failure.Kind of appropriate at the moment, don't you reckon.

This be swagger

2009-06-08T11:07:00.004-04:00

Check the fire station dudes, a.k.a. the "Swagger Squad" that work across the road from our studio. You have to walk past them en route to the Bodega and keep your cool while you know you're being checked out. Thanks to you guys, I might just be the first white girl on the block to have a little swag. In my dreams anyway.

Why we love the Berlin Mall

2009-06-08T10:27:00.007-04:00

Two weeks here, two visits to the legendary Berlin Mall flea market in Jersey.

First of all, you can eat clams and I love clams. Just don't mix them with any of that diet Pepsi shit. Unless you want to feel like you've been punched in the stomach for the rest of the afternoon that is.Also, a big reason I love to eat clams is because I love to get served by this guy. This photo really doesn't do him justice. Plus afterwards you can go shop and find all of this useful stuff.

Such as a lamp pretending to be an authentic nautical artefact.
Or a book for your Mum's birthday
Unless she'd rather get down in the sand with Tone.
Or, you could go all out and get yourself a nice new pair of dentures for fifty cents. Go on. You know you want to.

My Son... My only legacy...

2009-06-01T17:09:00.002-04:00

You must show them LOVE & BEAUTY, if you want them to see LOVE & BEAUTY ! Photograph by Solomon Mims, 11 yrs old.

We're in Sole Heaven!

2009-06-01T15:45:00.003-04:00

Alright love? Check Miss Saigon's new British-themed AF1's (Sex Pistols + the Clash!) plus her exclusive interview with Sole Heaven on their Custom Kicks page

Saigon Status

2009-06-01T09:15:00.018-04:00

Wow, did you know that becoming a Saigon Customs girl is even harder than you think? Like, Shaolin Monk status is the level you get to before you attempt Saigon Customs status? So, my internship here is sort of like the training period you go through before you go duel some three-headed serpent-cross-bear on an icy mountaintop to prove your worthiness to be here. That means before I am considered "ready" I have to prove myself through a couple of these crazy skill and endurance tests, which I will go through here. I just thought I'd post it for any of you thinking about wanting to be a Saigon girl, sort of like a cheat's guide to the sort of things you might be asked to do. Not for the fainthearted, ladies.

1. Thou shalt unwind
To assist in my development as a properly relaxed and balanced person, each morning I am required to consume seven whole Corona-soaked limes and squirt the juice of what I can't finish into my eyes to prove my dedication to Corona-and-lime cause. Everytime I hesitate, they will tattoo another letter of the Corona label onto my forehead, and so far they've only gotten up to the first "o", which is pretty good, considering most chicks don't make it out of here before "cerveza".

2. Love thy hater
For this one, I was required to write twice-daily love letters to a few of the people on my least-favourite list, then hand deliver them waiting in a prostrate position at the front doors of their houses wearing above t-shirt. Saigon law dictates that this will teach me humility. Then, at the end of my bed, I am required to sleep with A1-sized posters of my haters' faces, because, as the Saigon philosophy goes, this is what will keep me going.

3. Thou shalt cause a sensation wherever thou goestIf you are going to be a Saigon Customs girl, there is no way you are walking out the front door without a whole lot of hustle. Whenever you are out of the studio, you have to take Miss Saigon's iPhone which has all of her work in it, plus a timer. If the right people don't see the folio every ten minutes, the phone will explode, sort of like that bus in Speed if it drops below 50mph. For this reason, I have been known to hustle homeless people, bodega cooks and lollipop ladies, simply because promoting yourself is the Saigon Way.

4. Thou shalt channel thy "inner-chink"

If you don't have "chinky eyes" or one of these amazing t-shirts, then it is absolutely mandatory that you try in any way possible to channel your inner "sexy-fly-chink" anyway. Me, I have been lying awake at night willing my hair rod-straight, and have already begun to dream in Vietnamese. This, apparently, is a sign that my efforts are working.

5.Thou shalt have swagger
As a naive little Australian, I had no idea what the fuck "swagger" was and I guess that's why apparently I don't have any. So, to gain swagger, I am required to walk past a fire station full of hot, bored dudes sitting out front every time I want to go to the Bodega. This is very helpful for gaining confidence and poise. Cedra and Miss Saigon say I'll have at least a little swagger before I leave, but knowing me I'll probably end up accidentally leaving it somewhere, never to be seen again.

Get Your Hustle On

2009-05-28T18:02:00.007-04:00

Hello, this is the Aussie speaking. The reason I say that, apart from being, well, the only white girl around here (and getting called "white girl" very ocasionally, which I don't mind either), is 'cos I guess that might explain why, for a long time, I didn't really get what "hustling" was. I mean I thought it had something to do with drug dealing or whatever, but I didn't realise it could mean selling drugs, selling your body, selling baby clothes. Hustling is about taking control of your life and then, doing whatever you can to get paid. I used to have a boyfriend who would get up every morning, sit at the table with his glass of orange juice and say, "There's a shitload of money out there in the world, so how today am I going to get some of it?" He had the right attitude.

We were talking about this the other day, how you actually can hustle for just about anything in life. I mean, people just don't think like that but in many other countries you never accept their first offering price. As Miss Saigon puts it: "I'm not fucking anybody, I'm just getting un-fucked." So true.
So seeing Saigon Customs' engines working from the inside-out, I'm inspired to think about making the jump to independent myself. I always thought that having a steady, secure, "okay-ish" job would be enough for me as long as I could paint and write on the side. But I've been in my first real job for exactly 13 months before this (and they are amazing, they even gave me the time off to come and intern here) and I'm already thinking "you know what? fuck it". And I have a GREAT job, the type that they'll fill in a week or so. Why the fuck would you throw all that away?

Well, first of all, the money. Yeah yeah I know there's like the whole "starving artist" thing vs Mr 9-5, steady paycheck man, but as Miss Saigon said yesterday, she knows that as an independent, even though there were quiet times, she could "rack money" she "NEVER would have made" if she had been working for somebody else. It's true, right? I mean at some point in your life - if you even think about shit like this anyway- then you're going to have to decide: do I sell myself to somebody who's going to make 2-300% off of my work and enjoy the convenience, the security, the retirement plans, the credit scores and all the rest of it. Or do I hustle? I guess people just don't think about shit like this, 'cos money-wise in the end it doesn't make much sense. I mean, who are you working for? A hustler. That's right, somebody who thought, fuck it, I can organise myself a bigger slice of that tasty pie. And they got so big they ended up needing you to help them. For what? Some crumbs? So I don't see why you wouldn't want to hustle, unless you're all, like, tired and lazy and whatever. I mean you DEFINITELY can't be lazy if you're going to hustle and survive.

So, writing this (giant-behind-the-keyboards-style) I sound all staunch and motivated but, knowing me, being a security-loving Cancerian there's an excellent chance I'll chicken out after this internship is over and go back to my totally rad existence sitting at a computer in an office somewhere. But at the same time, I know the seed has been planted. When you've been around somebody who's made it work, then that makes a big difference in you thinking "I can do that too". So I guess I'll wait and see.

Thoughts on America

2009-05-28T10:22:00.006-04:00

So, some of you I've met already know I travelled a long, long way to be here but since me and Miss Saigon are from out of the country (she, France, me Australia) occasionally we have a little compare about "here" and "there". To be perfectly honest, I absolutely fucking love your country and would live here without hesitation, on the other hand, there are some kinda weird things that you do here in the ol' U-S-of-A that maybe you could take a couple of pointers on:

Pennies: Do you seriously fucking need these? Do you? I still can't figure out how to lose that extra inch from my wallet that is ALL pennies. You can't leave them with the tip as apparently it's an insult to your waiter. People at the cashier have no patience for you to count them out and homeless people simply look at you in disgust, as they should. So wouldn't it be easier to just round it up or down, just ONE or TWO cents? Seriously.

Paying to receive texts and calls: I can't even imagine what kind of etiquette questions this would pose in stingy ol' Australia, where people with no phone credit cadge text messages the way you bum a cigarette or a light. What if you were saving your last fifteen cents to tell your friend where you are, then some dickhead sends you one of those really awful, sex joke texts that they forwarded on from their Mom? I get those all the time from one of my friends, then again, maybe that's just her. You know, her Mom's like, one of those heaps modern, "Myspace Moms". Do you have those here? Okay maybe not.

Huge meals and doggie bags: Alright, a little rant: you guys have this restaurant thing all mucked up. First of all, you pay your waiters $3.40 an hour, which is not okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know they're supposed to get tips and all, but seriously couldn't you just pay them properly and stop serving like, two meals' worth of food and save the dough that way? Invariably when I want to take my perfectly good, half-eaten meal away ('cos by Australian standards, there's still enough food for a whole meal there) you take it away and put it into a STYROFOAM. CONTAINER. That is like, so passe by environmental standards, just so you know. Then they put it in another, paper bag and then into a plastic bag. Whoa. It would be wasteful to throw that food out, yet the amount of packaging they use means it looks like a Christmas present by the time I get it back. I don't NEED all those bags dude. I know in Australia you don't usually bother with doggy bags (I hate that phrase) 'cos our meals are like, person-sized, but I see a lot of people do it here (with a LOT of food left over). So when I get to a city of 25 million people and see this happening everywhere, every day I realise that the planet is seriously on the fast-track to being FUCKED. Did you ever hear about the North Pacific Gyre? Argh.

Health Care: I know you don't need me to rub it in. You're in a bad place with that right now, but then again maybe your new president will do something about it. Good-looking guy by the way. Our K Rudd could take a few pointers from your Obama.

Right?

Leaving trash bags on the curb for collection: Where I come from, this sounds like you're sending one of your very drunk friends home in a taxi, but in New York they seriously do that, bags and bags of the stuff out on the pavement, every day. It wouldn't be so bad except that the bags leak all this sweet and sour garbage soup everywhere and THAT'S why New York smells like shit. I always get this tangy swamp smell on my clothes, yuk. So, I don't know how much crap people have to throw out every week but we get by with two small-ish bins (one for recycling, one for other stuff), maybe you should suggest it to your mayor (when the Swine Flu outbreak is over, dude seems pretty busy with damage control right now).

Anyways, that's all from me. Nothing sneaker-related in this post but like I said, I have to be ultra discreet. You'll know when you KNOW, alright.

Don't be scared, be prepared for the first.

2009-05-27T10:58:00.007-04:00

Welcome to post number #1 from the Saigon Customs blog. My name's Erika, I'm the intern, I'm about to reveal a little bit about "The Secret Life of Miss Saigon"

Right now, we're readying ourselves for the second International Sneaker Battle, although we can't talk much about that because there are little eye-spies everywhere. We have to keep it even more on lock since SC won Best Custom Themed Sneaker last year, and I doubt their other egos could survive being burned twice by a bunch of little girls.

It's like that, uh, and that's the way it is...

We just moved into a new, 1400 sq.foot studio with lots of natural light that's going to bring out our artistic best. And since we ladies are taught to always have our best assets on display, here they are:

We set it up yesterday. It looks dope now, I can't even imagine how good it's going to look two months from now.

This is Amy. She's all like, man-lady looking but I can already tell she's got our backs. She's like the principal of your old high school or the judge at your DUI appearance: you just wouldn't fuck with her.

My new desk, at the front here. Found by the roadside for "free-ninety-nine"! I trash the environment enough with my overconsumption of sneaks that I like that at least some of my stuff is freecycled.

To unwind, there are a couple of things you can do around here, including getting your arse whooped by Miss Saigon at Scrabble. It's even more embarassing considering her first friggin' language is French. Anyways, RAY FAG EYE, I'd like to see which of YOU geniuses would've picked up on that combo.

More to come.